Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t buy bullshit

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Hailee Steinfeld & Josh Allen marry in west coast ceremony - Buffalo Rumblings

I actually pay taxes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

For an unpublished short story writer, what magazines or online publications offer the best chance of being recognized?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Summer McIntosh Swims 3:54.18 To Shatter 400 Freestyle World Record By 1.2 Seconds - SwimSwam

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

As Kamala Harris weighs a run for governor, some Democrats are moving on - The Washington Post

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fakery

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What are the reasons why am I so tired before my period?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t cotton to rapists

What are my 10 favorite rock record album opening tracks?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Boulder attack updates: Multiple people injured in 'act of terror,' FBI says - ABC News

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

FAA Says Newark Airport Should Be OK by October - Newser

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Do guys ever want to suck a dick even though they are straight?

I can count

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Are there any more 'nun' jokes?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Department of Homeland Security lists Buncombe County as 'sanctuary jurisdiction' - WLOS

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can read

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I see through liars

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”